I just can’t continue to feel bottled up like this anymore.
I finally thought I was over
you, and I finally realized things will never work out;
I’m doomed either way I go, and both ways
hurt to know that she won...
she won...
because I messed up
I wasn’t thinking
I was selfish
now when you date this girl,
this girl who has two friends who
want nothing more than to just help
her and be there for her to the end of time, you realize
how much that hurts?
How much it stings?
How much it just wants to make me
scream
rip out my hair
and just look up to see you walk away from me
walk away,
walk away,
that smile never leaving my dreams, the funny odd faces you pull
never leaving my memories,
and even now, as I think of them,
I try to laugh, defeated, through
the tears.
That string’s become wrapped tightly now
restricting my blood flow, and turning my finger purple.
Purple
such an ugly color
I can’t help but adore.
I emulate you to no end, trying to appear
attractive to you in some way
I don’t know if I want you,
I just know that I want you to be mine.
Getting close to you by talking simply
got me addicted again;
thirsty for the feeling
of having you around. I want to be your friend,
I want to be your lover,
I want to be what you want me to be.
**I want to be perfect, I need to be perfect.