Sep 2014
it's literally lying awake at night
wondering if the smell of my hair
lingers on your pillow
or if you would even notice
its tasting the word mistress
and having flashbacks of my mother
and understanding why
she always acted so bittersweet
it's avoiding
catching
feelings
feeling like ****
for wanting to
give you everything
when all you wanna do is
dodge parents
keep secrets
and stay out past curfew
it's never being able
to give you the love you deserve
i would give the universe to you
with water droplet stars
infinite black and blue
like the bruises we got
from sneaking into the neighborhood pool
it felt more like a baptism than a rebellion
it's being terrified
of holding your hand in public
it's being terrified of holding you period
it's going out in public
knowing people think that we're together
knowing that you hate it
when people think that we're together
knowing that it tears me down
chicago skyline style
it's knowing that her love
is irreplaceable
but just know
that i will memorize and recite
every line of good burger
if it made you smile
i'll take you to disney world
because it's so ****** up that you've never been
adopt a cat and give it to you,
because you don't need another ***** in your life
i wish i could give you
the childhood you missed out on
blinded by another world the two of you created
and i'm just the house pet
being domesticated
it's being so excited
to see some light in your eyes
they've been dark for so long
it's loving in the dark
never turn the lights on
it's being a ***** little secret
when i don't even know the truth
it's biting my tongue
never asking
what am i to you?
it's choosing words so delicately
"I'm into you"
"i'm sorry"
"i'll park down the street"
it's foot in mouth
hands on face
tongue in cheek
bending over backwards
for a lost cause
it's pretending it doesn't bother me
when you ignore my phone calls
it's feeling the need
to apologize to everything
and everyone
for leaving a single trace of myself behind
i taste the word mistress
and it burns like acid
so so sweetly
it's
i don't need you
i don't need you
i don't need you
but i want you
it's best friends right?
i hope you smell my hair
on your pillow tonight
wondering if the smell of my hair
lingers on your pillow
or if you would even notice
its tasting the word mistress
and having flashbacks of my mother
and understanding why
she always acted so bittersweet
it's avoiding
catching
feelings
feeling like ****
for wanting to
give you everything
when all you wanna do is
dodge parents
keep secrets
and stay out past curfew
it's never being able
to give you the love you deserve
i would give the universe to you
with water droplet stars
infinite black and blue
like the bruises we got
from sneaking into the neighborhood pool
it felt more like a baptism than a rebellion
it's being terrified
of holding your hand in public
it's being terrified of holding you period
it's going out in public
knowing people think that we're together
knowing that you hate it
when people think that we're together
knowing that it tears me down
chicago skyline style
it's knowing that her love
is irreplaceable
but just know
that i will memorize and recite
every line of good burger
if it made you smile
i'll take you to disney world
because it's so ****** up that you've never been
adopt a cat and give it to you,
because you don't need another ***** in your life
i wish i could give you
the childhood you missed out on
blinded by another world the two of you created
and i'm just the house pet
being domesticated
it's being so excited
to see some light in your eyes
they've been dark for so long
it's loving in the dark
never turn the lights on
it's being a ***** little secret
when i don't even know the truth
it's biting my tongue
never asking
what am i to you?
it's choosing words so delicately
"I'm into you"
"i'm sorry"
"i'll park down the street"
it's foot in mouth
hands on face
tongue in cheek
bending over backwards
for a lost cause
it's pretending it doesn't bother me
when you ignore my phone calls
it's feeling the need
to apologize to everything
and everyone
for leaving a single trace of myself behind
i taste the word mistress
and it burns like acid
so so sweetly
it's
i don't need you
i don't need you
i don't need you
but i want you
it's best friends right?
i hope you smell my hair
on your pillow tonight
