They never tell you how to feel
When a childhood best friend
Accidentally overdoses on some unknown contraband
At seventeen.

You have to learn for yourself
That it feels like
You're here
But you're not.
You're in pain
But it's not real.
That it's not happening
But it is.

We hadn't talked in a good deal of time
And yet, now it seems like time has run out.
My head feels like it's spinning in circles
But why?

Because I remember you
Playing in the street
With your edgy yet strangely appealing
Sense of humor that drew everybody to you.

Because I remember you
Teaching me to wear makeup
Building fortresses in the woods
We shared behind our houses.
Back then, we were obsessed with Chris Brown
And "With You" was rattling off our lips

Because I remember you
When you found out that I had been violated
In the worst way possible.
When you found out I had cut myself for the first time
Which, for what it's worth, I don't do anymore
And that you cared, always
Even at eleven or twelve.

Because I remember you as pure.
You are not your addiction
For you will always be an innocent
In my mind's eye.