I am at fault for the things I perceive
When I am surrounded by nature
Watching lovely nymphs dancing through trees
My head's so busy, thinking, of only me
Settled down, at night, I relive my day
Too many calories consumed by me
Too much of a disappointment to be
Anyone but myself- and awake, I lay
The men I want, and the things I crave
Escape my grasp, my loose fist clasps too late
Today I asked a boy to date me, he lied, he hates me
I attract those who can't tell I hate me, too

I always catch men staring
And I feel a searing guilt
Of acts only committed in mind
Because I remember and
I find even the thoughts repulsive
I'm fine now, but thoughts evolve and
Triggering can't explain well enough