i live life like i'm dying everyday
days pass and time slinks away
cheeks hollow and lips whiten
eyes that fill with tears too easy
now glazed over with pain

i live life like i'm dying everyday
fingers numb and gaze that stares ahead
nails that grip down like i'm on the edge
leaving crescent marks in its wake
blood that rises but never breaks the surface

i live life like i'm dying everyday
each peal of laughter a melody for my deathbed
every smile and grin leaving me dead
i crave scars like words carved into my tombstone
sharpening the knife so my heart can beat again

i live life like i'm dying everyday
i scream silently curled up against porcelain
vomiting out molecules that were meant to be digested
but each glance at the mirror makes me feel less than ideal
fingers clutching the porcelain bowl
offering my dinner to the demons instead

i live life like i'm dying everyday
when my heart thumps irregular
and the pain won't go away
hiding under covers from the monster
no longer underneath the bed
but within me
instead

i live life like i'm dying everyday
when tears fall and i hold my breath
trying not to lose it all
i grip the knife and press it against my chest
my heart oddly silent
accepting our death

i live life like i'm dying everyday
a broken marionette who's own thoughts
i cannot obey
the demon inside of me flips an hourglass and counts away
counting down each breath that i take

i live life like i'm dying everyday
no one hears the screams and cries
of no one but a fourteen year old
who's mind is too old
heart too much in pain
wishing her bed was a casket instead.