look at me look find relive the stories you wrote on my body.
remember those?
all i know how to do is compare and relive. repeat repeat.
but yet again i find myself in some corner of your toes. at your feet.
neutrality is poison they say. but my body produces enough for herds. nonchalance.
cursed and wasted potential of energies. caught up in the messy web that is him.
HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM R E..pE?***.IO N…
i want to always know you. i want this moment to li n g er__—*
i want him to linger.
cravings to know the this and that of me. the who and what.
and alas, i have found the road i am taking. filled with webs of glitter and gems.
and dirt. and my dear, i am quite messy. quite bruised and swollen from these adventures. these not-so-merry instances. battered into sludge.
this morning i trudged out of bed, stumbled into the bathroom, succumbed to the floor and met the carpet with a heady thud.
floundered apart at the seams. sewn and stitched and ******.
senselessly. he took ice. he suggested it ! he slipped it into his mouth.
drilled onto my belly. cold icy muddled puddle. wet on my skin.
looked me straight in the eye. pushed the tiny cube inside me. watched me tremble.
****** me like he hadn’t in weeks. selfish with his seduction.

when i think of him. i think of the pools he creates.