I often find myself dealing with small things, it's gone down so deep in me that I see them as a whole form of priorities. Has it always been a mistake doing the things that I genuinely feel isn't a mistake? How do I be myself if I feel so, so wrong after every single time I decide on doing the things that I want to do? You know just sometimes, just sometimes it feels good being me. But half the time it just feels like, I'm being a **** towards myself. How do I feel right after doing something that I want to do? What are these things, seriously. There's just so much to juggle, too much to learn. I feel like there's just nothing more that I should ever speak of, there's just nothing more that I should ever feel, and there's just so many things that I can't touch. There's just no point being poetic over all of these petty matters because they will just eventually weigh down heavier and heavier every single time you try to interweave your thoughts with your emotions and craft them on a piece of paper, then using your pen to manipulate words that would just eventually drift you away from your driving point.

Just let me be. I don't wanna stop taking drags from my burning cigarette, it's the only way I get to feel that what's wanted and needed to be said is less important. I wanna let the huge dose of reality flow through my veins and feel like all I can ever remember saying was "it hurts". Point is to not remember what happened, but to just feel that it's done.