I've never understood
that word,
'happy'.

It was always
foreign to me.
Even now
it can cause the
circuits in my brain
to temporarily
malfunction.

For me it was always
a concept
that arrived
on a silver ship,
stayed to visit a while
in the lives of
the few
only to fly off again,
back to its natural habitat,
far, far away.

Then one day
it came to me,
what made ME 'happy',
and the word
was no longer quite
as elusive,
it no longer held
the position of
enigma in my mind.

I realized that
things, like music,
which sometimes
made my heart dance,
or that at times
calmed this savage
beast,
or even seduced me
with its sensual
melodies
and sultry lyrics
made me...happy.

And films, both old and new,
of many genres
that I so adore,
which constitute
a huge part of
my 'world'
and have often been
just the friend I needed
to help me escape
a dark, stressful day,
even if
just for a while.

Then there are my
favorite culinary
delights,
too many to name,
but the list does
include prized
cheesecake and
beloved dark chocolate,
full of those lovely
antioxidants
that run free
throughout  my frame.

And I cannot forget
the little things,
the instances
no one notices,
but me,
like the beauty
of my son's face as
he sleeps,
and I stare in wonder
and just listen to him
breathe,
almost bringing
me to tears.

I remember, too,
that there is LOVE.
All different kinds
and levels,
and when LOVE
is behaving
and treating me
kindly,

whispering sweet,
rapturous nothings
in my ear,
then this once alien
concept is no longer
so strange to me.

And I then understood
that happiness is not
a constant state of being
for most,
but it resides in the rare
and beautiful
snippets of life,

and it isn't often
until it has
come and gone
that we often recognize
that Happiness
was ever there.




-by Mercurychyld
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