This is written sobriety
This is that unfamiliar feeling of being in control of your hands
Behind your own eyelids
A bottle of ***** far out of reach
So you have no choice but to trace your fingers over the carved pencil marks
Written when your hands shook so uncomfortably
And your eyes were lazy and reddened with drugs
There was no one behind you to touch your shoulder
And rip the wings off of your back
The secrets you spilled into the whiskey are shut tight
Placed out of reach for the children that crawl around on their hands and knees
Oh, how you resemble them.
These words you etched into your thigh
With a pen and the burning sensation of being stared down
Cold sweat drips onto the paper
These words you etched into the wall next to the numbers
Counting down the days in this enclosed space that is your own mind
You are too lazy for an escape
But too productive to do nothing
So you write about how much you miss her
You write about holding her and kissing her
You write about her neck and her curves
And how it felt to touch her
You write about being sober and how awful it feels to be in control
How there is no God
Because he would go insane with all of this control
You write about her body
And her mind
Her intellectual ways and how she traced the outline of your hand so formally.
You write about her but you have to erase the word "alcohol" and replace it with the name of a woman you have never met
And it's so easy to see why love and alcohol get mixed up so quickly
They are the exact same
This is written sobriety.
When your throat doesn't burn but you can't sleep at night anyway
Because there's no one next to you and the one thing you depended on
The constant in your life
Has vanished in a fit of anger against the wall
Dont you see
This is written sobriety.