It starts with a thought
My body tense familiar that
feeling of anxiety in my belly again I
Eat half a bowl of rice at 9pm my meal of the day and
You're gone again for the summer my life is starting i am ready

It starts with a thought
I clean the scissors off they are sticky i
check the mirror for evidence of fat loss i
Try to go jogging up the hill but i am too tired too starved
My faulty heart thuds and my lungs shrink i can't do it
i'm not healthy enough

It starts with a thought
I count up my days calories one coke half bowl of rice
I am disappointed with the number i
can do better i can
really starve and then i'll happy

It starts with a thought
I think of HPV hypochondria lymph nodes pregnancy I
grab the scissors tie the band around my hair

It starts with a thought
the blades close around my hair long blond natural soft shiny crowning glory
10 inches down my back I hear
one last snip and the ponytail is free
I shake my head the hair is short
so short and happiness wells up in me i
feel so light i
feel invincible

It starts with thought and
I'm not ******* you
I did it
I did it.