My tears are streaming down to my knees and I am screaming into my blanket covered fist and I want my friend to come out of his room and I want to hug him and say I am not okay I am not okay. What am I to do when my heart is braking because I cannot make it whole and I'm hungry and I miss you and I hate hate hate hate myself because how fun led up must I be to want you back in my life and how terrible am I that when she talks about "almost killing" herself I just want to scream do it and I DO NOT want to be alone and how brave would I be to knock on his door or to text him and then what. I am no good at beginnings. But dude. I'm at a expert at endings. I am an expert at a endings.