I wake
from a dream of you
with blood streaming
down my face, I can smell
the metal, I can taste it,
and I'm not sure what it means,
I dreamt in scarlet, not rose -
things did not appear
better, they were truthful, if not
a little worse.

My biggest fear
remains the same, I am scared to
lose you, or to even gain you at all,
I have spent every waking minute
daydreaming
and every unconscious one
in the same, untruthful manner,
you are the ripped pages
from my journal,
you are the reason I write
with blue ink instead of black,
you are everything I love
and despise about the human race -
*you are everything.