It was an emerging phase that I couldn't avoid
Being a teenager was purely torturous, and I look forward to the end, but something vivid and cheaply plagiarised had showed up
It was the desire to stir jealousy within others, a cruel beauty and idyllic body as a symbol of what deserves bliss
It was fake love, mere attraction and the disaster it brings, it was being with the people who tell the best rumours, the most electric fragments of truth
It wasn't mean-spirited, just viciously fast in its attempts to infatuate the crowd, the individual, the tiny wishful inklings in someone else's heart
It was wanting to be superior, a want unlike the innocent ones from my earlier youth
Wanting everything to fill that space in my mind between the ideal and real
It was fatal, and I knew it; I knew it

-cj