Dec 2010
Sometimes I wish ...
that I was totally alone.
Sometimes even dead.
I don't know why.
But I have never gone and purposely pushed myself nor others down.
I have accidentally.
Nothing has ever worked out.
If I try I fail.
If I fail I try harder.
If I'm a natural I get worse.
If it's my talent it fades.
Sometimes I wish ..
That there was never anything in my way to stop me from what I want.
But then I realize that's probably the worst wish ever.
Because then I'm wishing for everything to just go away.
Sometimes I've never wished...
That I could be happy.
I don't want to be happy.
I want others to be happy.
I cry when a strangers hurt.
I sob into my pillow when my friend has been terrified.
But I have never cried for myself.
I guess I'm just too nice...
Because I also wish for people,not me, to be joyful.
Not me because I am no person.
that I was totally alone.
Sometimes even dead.
I don't know why.
But I have never gone and purposely pushed myself nor others down.
I have accidentally.
Nothing has ever worked out.
If I try I fail.
If I fail I try harder.
If I'm a natural I get worse.
If it's my talent it fades.
Sometimes I wish ..
That there was never anything in my way to stop me from what I want.
But then I realize that's probably the worst wish ever.
Because then I'm wishing for everything to just go away.
Sometimes I've never wished...
That I could be happy.
I don't want to be happy.
I want others to be happy.
I cry when a strangers hurt.
I sob into my pillow when my friend has been terrified.
But I have never cried for myself.
I guess I'm just too nice...
Because I also wish for people,not me, to be joyful.
Not me because I am no person.
I was talking to a friend earlier and he made me sad.
I wanted to sit and sob.
But he's also sort of a stranger.
I see him 5 days a week.
But I thought we were friends, because friends are supposed to tell each other everything...
He won't tell me why he's sad...
And he's hurting himself.
So I'm sitting here crying and sobbing just for him to be happy..
I wanted to sit and sob.
But he's also sort of a stranger.
I see him 5 days a week.
But I thought we were friends, because friends are supposed to tell each other everything...
He won't tell me why he's sad...
And he's hurting himself.
So I'm sitting here crying and sobbing just for him to be happy..
