I handed you the knife that hurts me to this day.
Every piercing word, you twist it deeper
Until it flirts with the part of me that is lit on fire with a certain lust
That, while infuriating, is hot enough to make me want more
To this day I continue to hate every utterance containing your name
That name belongs to me, it is supposed to be mine,
As you led me to believe,
As you shove a sword deeper into my gut
Farther, until the fire and coals that were lust and love
Are poked out with the dagger I gave you.
And to this day I walk with wounds
I sit with scars and burns,
Engraved with your name, every time,
Every time I heard your name- scalded
Every time you said the words- knives twisted
And even when these coals were at their hottest,
With no qualms about fading out,
They were managed to be calmed, to be soothed,
Into what I have become today.
To this day I am scarred, burned, and with sword in stomach
But I am here, with new knife in hand,
And you cannot burn me again.