my heart's pounding in my chest because of the fear i have
the fear i've always had
and i don't know what it is and i don't know what to call it
but all i know is that it's a disease and it doesn't seem to stop
because when i look into their eyes with longing over and over again
they begin to do the same
but my eyes shield over with these walls and as easily as i fall for people i hardly know
i cannot get myself to fall for someone who knows me
who wants to know me...
and ive bitten beating hearts full of desire and ive stared into the eyes of lust and have glistened in the sunlight of dancing hands
but ive never felt love
ive never felt the need for someone as their need for me and i either always aim too high or too low and miss the target where we should have met in between
im confused and im disgusted and i dont know what to do anymore
they knock at the door of approval and i slam the door of fear