one religion, two religions
three religions, four
i;ve got lots and lots of choices
and more are coming to my door
follow us, believe in me
our church, knows the true way
I've got last supper steak knives
what else is there to say?

tv preachers in their pulpits
selling religion like a game
like the Catholic church indulgences
What they sell is still the same
Buy my onyx desk set
it will put you on the path
i sit at home and watch them
and God, I have to laugh

Wars are fought about who's God
Is better in the end
But, it's the same God and same son
that God chose for to send
Holy Ghosts and miracles
Generated for the flock
I bet dear old Pope Peter
Is just spinning 'neath his rock

Put a thousand prophets
in a room with the same book
and you'll get a thousand versions
of where to go and where to look
Religion is a business
Don't sell yourself to me
I believe in God Almighty
In the sky, or in a tree

I'll do penance if I'm told to
not because I didn't buy
the Bob Ross painted version
of the angels in the sky
I tried to follow Buddha
Because, like me, he's kind of fat
But, I couldn't cross my legs that way
It hurt me when I sat

Jehovah's, get me riled
Coming round right to my door
Giving me their magazine
Not saying what it's for
There are so many religions
None is right and none is wrong
But, truth be told I like the ones
That have a guy who hits a gong

Atheists, are different too
They don't believe in God at all
So, who's name do they yell out
When they get walloped in the *****?
I'd like to see religion
get monitored and have rules
like, how each group can advertise
and have a list of union rules

Don't tell me one is better
Be it Budhist or another
Deep down, regardless of belief
you are my sister, or my brother
Finally, the mormon church
Has elders, they're young men
For this I'd just love God to say
I'm coming down....to start again