It turns out the show's only just started when the fat lady's sang -
'Tho mum had told me it'd be over when Mrs Jones came on -
So imagine my surprise when she burst into Kool & the Gang.

It was at this talent show; I'd come to see this smoking Orang-utan.
I'd seen the mediocre 'Mystico', the lacklustre 'Lassie' and a small man named Ron;
It turns out the show's only just started when the fat lady's sang.

The final act was to be signalled with a gong and a bang,
Then out came Mrs Jones, the size of the entire Yukon.
So imagine my surprise when she burst into Kool & the Gang.

I guess it was a perfect example of yin and yang,
And since it happened Mrs Jones is quite the local icon.
It turns out the show's only just started when the fat lady's sang.

It'd seemed like she'd be better suited at a competition eating pie, or meringue,
At her local diner with her 20% off coupon.
So imagine my surprise when she burst into Kool & the Gang.

The bass kicked in, she belted it out and the whole audience sprang
Into frenzy and boogied, like night had been and gone.
It turns out the show's only just started when the fat lady's sang
So imagine my surprise when she burst into Kool & the Gang.