You never know how it hurts till you're there
when you think you've seen it all
someone
will throw a rock at you
disoriented
you're gonna go places you've never thought you'd go to
almost drunk on reality you want to get lost
or just wander
but i'm pretty sure it's being lost
because i've never been so out of place out of time
out of rights
and everything is just so wrong
and nobody said it would be that hard
being on my own
i have learned that you were the only part i loved about myself
and you were the only thing keeping from murdering every part of me that was not you
you made me realise that i couldn't be fine on my own and all i was
all i ever have been was stuck in an illusion
the illusion that reality will set me free
the truth is, reality never set me free of myself
or anything
ever
and all of my fears
were everything i wanted to be
everything I always have been
a monster from within
i never learned to trust anyone not even myself
i learned to fear the clearest places
and love darkness
and i guess you are what you love
then, am i darkness?