I just got back from vacation and I was sad. Yes sad to be home but when I got into town and saw the lights from the fair I thought maybe this won't be so bad.

And I said goodbye to my friend and her mom and my sister and I put my bags on my shoulders and my purse on my neck and I said love you love you love you. I didn't cry.

And I saw my friend. The one I almost like that I live with. He didn't ask how it was. He said hi or something. One word. And I went to the shower.

And I am laying down and the loneliness is hitting me and I still haven't technically cried. No. Now its starting and I'm crying and there is poetry and music but I am lonely.

Already. Not even an hour. I want to go back. I want it to rain. I want him to knock on my door and say hey want to hang out and I want more people to like me. Vacation liked me yet real life does not.