It feels so good to pour you out of my heart like a tipping pitcher-
At first, droplets. Then the entire wave.

I started small, dropping drips of you into my subconscious or even the bottom wells of where I care for people.

Eventually the drops became consistent, streaming into a stream of "I'm okay without you" and "I don't need you to love me".

The wave sloshed out of the pitcher when I decided I was happier holding myself above your love, the wave washed over any notion that maybe your love would somehow replace the lacking love I had for myself.

I poured you out and let the emptiness just be for once, and now I have an open spot where my own self love and support can become a sea that I can sail endlessly.

I used to think keeping your love within the walls of my pitcher heart would keep you 'round but really you ended up tipping me over the edge and I spilled out myself, made a mess and had to pick up my tear-soaked soul.

I had to look at why I would ever pour out all I am for someone like you, who could only pour out so much. I am full to the brim with love and I create a sea of it for people who don't know how to swim.

Pouring you out of my heart took time and patience, though I can see clearly you're on dry land now and I'd rather you rest easy as opposed to drowning in what someone else might be able to tread.

So I'm filling my heart back up and so far it feels pretty full. The pitcher doesn't leak now that I've patched up where you left cracks and dents. I've sealed the leaks with all you couldn't be-

My own self love, meandering the record store alone, buying myself the sunflowers and dark chocolate, putting on the dress because I want to look beautiful, holding my own hand when I feel lonesome, and telling myself that losing you only means my heart is open and vast like the sea.

My heart once poured out for you and like a cloud you can't return the rain, but I don't want to return what I poured out anyway. It was meant for you.

I'm a girl with a pitcher heart gathering what it is I'd like to pour out for someone else when the time is right. Instead of feeling like he's drowning in my monsoon love, he might think I'm the lemonade and pool on a hot summer day- refreshing, quenching, sweet and worth diving into.

So though you tipped me over, spilled me completely, you just left me empty enough to learn how to fill myself back up. Pouring you out of my heart felt so good when I came to see that you're a shallow swimmer who is afraid of depth,

And I simply figured my love for you was too deep to dive into.