I'm afraid to move on from you
I'm afraid that love has come and gone and now it will never come back
If I sit here and hold onto your words then it's like you never left me
1 stupid month feels like an eternity
And why is it that now that you are gone I am finally able to appreciate you
I'm stuck here holding our memories in my hands and I can't let go
I can't drop you
You who were so unbelievably everything that I ever wanted
You who were so unexpected which makes everything so precious
Why did you do this to me?
Why did you do this to your family?
Why would you take it all away without letting me know?
You promised me that if you were leaving you would say something
Don't act like I didn't spend my birthday talking you down off the edge
Don't act like I didn't beg you to stay here even though being here was hell for you
I'm sorry I couldn't love you
We talked about our future like we weren't young and dumb
Like we were grown or something
We talked about our future like we both still weren't stuck in the past
And I don't know if you thought this way too but
Even when we weren't together I could never let go of you
I don't know what that says about me
If somehow you see me writing this please know that my unhappiness was never because of you
If anything it was because of me
If somehow you see me writing this
This was everything I couldn't say
Everything that held me back from fully loving you
And maybe if I had just let go of my past
You would still be apart of my present and possibly my future
I'm typing this on my phone and after I typed future, the word wife popped up
Its funny because we talked about getting married
And it's sad because we talked about getting married
Maybe if I was able to say all of this sooner
These words could have stopped you
I wish I could have stopped you
Did anyone try to stop you?