When I was younger I never thought such feelings of loneliness, stress and this kind of sadness even existed. The only time I ever felt alone was when my mom left to go grocery shopping or my sister left me out of things. The only time I would ever feel stressed or pressured was when I played video games with my brother. The only sadness I would feel was when my dog died or my cat ran away. Now that I'm older I feel lonely because I care about people more than they care about me and I stress over every single little thing and everything makes me sad. And I wonder why that is?
When you grow older, you start to realize that nothing ever lasts. People you were once close with will forget about you, they will find better people to be around. Your happiness will soon turn to sadness that is masked with the lies of how you don't actually feel. Friends will hurt you, people will crush your heart over and over again and sometimes you will let them. You will learn that you can not trust a single person in this world because everyone, every single fucking person hides who they really are, even yourself.
If I had known this life would be so hard and confusing I would have never wished to live because quite frankly right now, I want to die. When you grow up you will learn that the heart is not shaped the way you see on cards, it is full of blood that beats just to keep you alive and it sits inside of many humans that pray for the day it finally stops beating. When you grow older, your ambition to live slowly becomes an ambition to die. Why is that?