tell me how I owe me more black butterflies
then the prettiest forests on islands where only vermin creep
to low inches lower then the lowest feet
grounded by my own productivity

It makes me smile to know that I have shed you
that I have left you in those footprints I left on the beach
when I went walking by myself a week ago in the black water

the hours merk down like red candle wax
unscented in the middle of a wooden cabin
somewhere deep in my empty objects
emptied out by everyday little tiny life
oh life

your reluctant love was like a painting
I could never finish, so I abandoned it
the grays never mixed right
and my arms didnt intertwine with your spine correctly

should I slit the sides of my neck
would it have been the end of me
I thought departure was more capable of death
then open wounds on cold flesh

and in those two minute love meetings where I
would inhale every bit of your breath
into my chest,
I felt it gaping into something
deeper than your darkest cave

light light, he said
light light ,I said
hidden somewhere in between your pupils and utopia
half folded lips in my palms
greetings sweeter than peaches
greetings that lasted too long

I reached for you like a starving child
I sought you out like a bird seeking shelter
and there I was in the corner
paint peeling off the walls into different strands of my hair
you sat next to me
you kept me company
but mentioned
leaving

so I accepted your hesitant departure and I demanded you to leave.

Oh how many black butterflies I owe me.