You. Who ruined me in ways I didn't know possible. Who filled me with a rage and agony and eventually such a deep sense of loss, of pure emptiness that I saw my own death every night. The smell of you lingers in my worn sheets and on the love seat that remains on the patio, and every time I sit there breathing in your scent, memories flood my eyes and fire drips from my tear ducts. You ruined me in impossible ways, showed me why storms are named after people. You replaced the blood in my veins with poison. And now, you draw a girl you lied to me about for years pictures, asking her to come watch the stars with you. The stars that we used to trace across the skies together, side by side in the dark. You swore you'd come back to me, but only for her - your side girl, who already has a boyfriend of nine months who really doesn't deserve a ******, selfish, proud ******* like you hanging all over his ***** of a girlfriend. But **** all of you. **** every last one of you who broke every bone on the way to my heart in every direction. ******* because I can't even focus long enough to finish a **** writing, because pain of another direction hits and I end up going that way. ******* for making me full of a hatred I didn't know existed. For shattering me in a way that makes it hard to breathe when she says your name, (your first name, the one I'd breathe against your shoulder, the one only I was allowed to use because you didn't want anyone else calling you by it, too personal.) Because the last time she said your name, it was because you used your rare phone call at basic on her and it hit so hard I vomited. Because I didn't know you could puke from mental anguish. ******* for teaching me all the ways a human can be destroyed. I pray to anything willing to listen that you both feel it someday.