My fear of heights
Often overpowers my fear of isolation
So I fall
Closed eyes and full optimism
Open arms and empty handed
I jump
Before I even can see the ground
Sometimes
I don't even take precaution
Deploy parachute far too late
And leave no time for regret
I have always said
That I would rather dive deep end
And hit bottom
Than stay shallow
Would rather crack my limbs against pavement
Than stay entire on grass
I want to learn how to bleed
I want to learn how to break
Just so I can figure out
How to put myself back together
I am willing to shatter clumsily
Split carelessly
Just to know grace
So I will fall
Regardless if this ends in canopy
Or in bungee chord tied noose
Will give all of me
Even if I get nothing in return
Will wring myself vacant
Just so that someone else can be gorged
I have been climbing mountains
With the sole intention of looking up
I say
I am closer to the sky that way
And if I fall
It will be
With complacency
It will be
By choice.