I sit and smoke on the steps.
I sit and smoke my fears away.
All of my insecurities.
I try and blow them your way.
I hope you'll catch them.
I know you smell them on me.
They're bitter and rotten.
A moment ago - you turned off the light.
Pushed me on my side.
I craved one more in that moment.
But it was empty.
When I woke; the room resembled it in this way.
I remember a kiss.
Then like a dream; you faded away.
I walked with soft feet afraid I would wake those below. That they would hear and know.
I tiptoed and breathed in what was left of you. In pillowcases. In sheets. In t-shirts. You lingered.
In my jean jacket - so did my insecurities.
I was hoping if I slept in until the sun came. You would join me. That you would seep into me & wash away anything foul & ugly. But you left me in the morning. And I was left craving once more again. The smell was so pungent. You could see it coming out my pores. It almost screamed.
It did scream.
It screamed.
Hold me.
Tell me.
Want me.
Need me.
Unwrap me.
Don't throw me away.