I got left alone as a kid.
And not in the good sense,
Where you are given time
And space to explore
Your mind and the things that can fly.
I got left lonely.
I was the kid at school that ate their lunch
In the doorway of the school hall
Because no one would go there
To point out that I was alone.
I could pretend that this was a doorway
That was a cave
That stored a secret world to the elves.
but in reality – I was cold. And scared.
And had weird food.
I was forigen. But I didn’t know what that was then.
I was just alive. And people didn’t like me.
And the ones that liked me.
Often stopped.
changed their minds.
By the ones that didn’t.
It may not seem traumatic,
Or even worthy of complaint.
But it haunts me,
Today. And yesterday. And the day before that.
Im always afraid that you will leave me alone
That you will change your mind.
And that I will once again,
Have to find a doorway to sit inside.