Jul 2014
no matter how hard I try I can't rid you from my mind, it's like I'm falling out of place and I'm still expecting you to be here and make it all okay but you're not here and you never ******* will be so why can't I just stop being yours because you stopped being mine a long time ago and no matter how hard I pretend I'm not okay and I hate to say it but I still wait for the text that you still love me but that's never gonna ******* show up because you're long gone and I can't do anything to get you back but who says I want you back. because I don't. or at least I don't want to. I don't want to feel hopeless and used and dead anymore. you left me.
you promised me you'd love me until your last god ****** breath but then you went and ******* left.
to this day it makes me sick
how you could promise me forever and just leave so ******* quick. I hate myself for giving you my all because you weren't the guy I thought you were. you were just another boy who made me fall in love and I swear to god you love seeing me all torn up. you love that I still think about you in the sweetest way and you absolutely thrive on the fact my pain isn't going away. it makes you happy to see I'm not moving on. when you're all over every girl you lay eyes on. I hope that maybe one day you'll stop hating me and realise that maybe I wasn't as bad as you thought and I really hope that you miss me eventually and stop with this ******* thought that I'm sleeping with everyone who's ever said hello and maybe you'll realise that I still don't want anyone else to take my innocence away an maybe you'll ******* realise how in love with you I actually was and you'll realise that you're really not okay but that day won't come because you're too proud and you hate me and I don't know why because I didn't do anything wrong. I loved you with every single fiber of my being and maybe that is wrong. it's wrong to give your everything to someone who lies about what they feel. you wouldn't know love if it was what you laced your poison with. I hate myself because I cant get over you. I hate that I can't stop falling for your smile or the way you laugh and I'm sick to my stomach because you're still taking over my thoughts and my choices and that's not okay. that's not okay at all and I ******* hate you. ******* for making me fall in love and give you what I was supposed to save for someone who I need to spend the rest if my life with but THAT WAS YOU, no not was, THATS STILL YOU. I STILL WANT YOU. I STILL WANT YOU TO KISS ME AND I WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY CHEEK AND KISS MY LIPS AND PRETEND YOU LOVE ME AGAIN BUT NO. YOURE GONE. YOURE ******* GONE. AND WRITING CANT EVEN BEGIN TO HELP ME THIS TIME. YOU CHANGED ME. YOU MADE ME INTO THE PERSON I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER BE
you promised me you'd love me until your last god ****** breath but then you went and ******* left.
to this day it makes me sick
how you could promise me forever and just leave so ******* quick. I hate myself for giving you my all because you weren't the guy I thought you were. you were just another boy who made me fall in love and I swear to god you love seeing me all torn up. you love that I still think about you in the sweetest way and you absolutely thrive on the fact my pain isn't going away. it makes you happy to see I'm not moving on. when you're all over every girl you lay eyes on. I hope that maybe one day you'll stop hating me and realise that maybe I wasn't as bad as you thought and I really hope that you miss me eventually and stop with this ******* thought that I'm sleeping with everyone who's ever said hello and maybe you'll realise that I still don't want anyone else to take my innocence away an maybe you'll ******* realise how in love with you I actually was and you'll realise that you're really not okay but that day won't come because you're too proud and you hate me and I don't know why because I didn't do anything wrong. I loved you with every single fiber of my being and maybe that is wrong. it's wrong to give your everything to someone who lies about what they feel. you wouldn't know love if it was what you laced your poison with. I hate myself because I cant get over you. I hate that I can't stop falling for your smile or the way you laugh and I'm sick to my stomach because you're still taking over my thoughts and my choices and that's not okay. that's not okay at all and I ******* hate you. ******* for making me fall in love and give you what I was supposed to save for someone who I need to spend the rest if my life with but THAT WAS YOU, no not was, THATS STILL YOU. I STILL WANT YOU. I STILL WANT YOU TO KISS ME AND I WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY CHEEK AND KISS MY LIPS AND PRETEND YOU LOVE ME AGAIN BUT NO. YOURE GONE. YOURE ******* GONE. AND WRITING CANT EVEN BEGIN TO HELP ME THIS TIME. YOU CHANGED ME. YOU MADE ME INTO THE PERSON I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER BE
