If I had known then,
what I know now,
then I would have done things
a lot differently.
If I knew that those days
really wouldn't last forever,
then I never would have left,
I would have always participated.
I would have gotten **** drunk on a Thursday,
even though we had school the next day,
just because,
I would have gone on every
smoke cruise,
every walk to the gas station,
I would have tripped sooner,
been myself sooner,
I would have stopped worrying
about him so much,
and started worrying about them
more.
If I knew then,
what I know now,
then maybe I would still
have friends,
I wouldn't feel like an outcast
in my own home town.
Its stupid,
but I can now accept that
I ****** up the relationships
I had with so many people.
Its my fault.
Its my fault.

If I knew then what I know now,
I wouldn't hate myself so much
today.