My hand could be bound by yours all day
And I could duplicate the shaky pace of your rising and falling chest all night
But I can't seem to hold my ground.
Just when I think I can do this
When I think I'm the brave one
The walls I put up come crashing down.
I'm so scared.
So.
Scared.
This is too good to be true, isn't it?
Things aren't actually this perfect, are they?
I'm not allowed to be this happy.
This wasn't in the rule book for me,
Nobody told me this was going to happen.
Nobody told me I'd feel okay for once, safe for once.
And here I am, happier than I've ever known,
Yet I can't stop crying.
Someone tell me,
please,
that I won't **** up this time.
I'm starting to relax the tension in myself, the internal conflict, and I've never done that.
I'm afraid to be vulnerable; I'm afraid to be yours, I'm afraid to be happy.
I want it all to stay the same, but I want it all to go away
So I have no chance of ruining your day