I can say with an honest conscience that a year ago I never would've thought my reality would be what it has become. I could not have predicted that I would be sitting here now, in the home of an old family friend, if you could even use that term since they don't know me at all, No one does, eating blueberries 2 at a time maybe trying to fill an aching hole in my body that I can't even see. I also never would've been able to tell you how a single person can so entirely become your environment and how If said person disappears, you're left standing in the middle of a Forrest you don't recognize with nothing but scrapes on your knees and a broken compass. And no matter how hard you fall to the ground or how desperately you yell their name, the fact that you are 10 minutes late and stuck in an old dream will never make them feel bad looking at the bullet shells on the ground in front of them from the rounds they fired into your chest. Because no matter how much you love someone it will not make them miss you. But maybe that's a lesson I'll never learn.