There’s a knock and before I can get to it, in comes Self Doubt barging through the door. He prances in and smiles at me like we’re old friends. And he shakes my hand and pats me on the back as he walks past me and settles into the sofa as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I’m left with my mouth agape, fumbling like a fool to shut the door and hang his coat. I’ll speak some pleasantries as he eyes my movements like a hawk staring down a prey readying itself for the final swoop. But we both know that if he’s already here, I may as well be standing naked in an open field waving a white flag of surrender. And like a fish out of water I will gasp for air. But my old friend Self Doubt and I have played this game over and over again. There have been countless nights we duel in silence just staring at each other. Because even in my weakened state I will claw and kick for any last ounce of life. We both know what will save me. But you never save me.