You have been the greatest risk in my many investments.
Such insignificant ventures were crowding my record,
Taking up space and giving little value.
But even in failure, I never was fully spent.

It was when I gave you all I had, that I gave away my own warning.
The one that reminds us that having nothing to lose just leaves us all worthless.
The one that explains why you cannot ask for more without a fair exchange.
But there once was a time I would always find the value in what was worthless to most.

I thought of the beauty that would come alive out of destruction.
I thought of the sun when it hid behind the clouds.

I believed in the ultimate victory after the seemingly endless fight.
I believed that pain would always fade into another pleasant day.

I saw the diamonds in your eyes.
I saw treasures in the wreckages.

I found meaning in every moment, every thought, and every dream.
And it fooled me into searching for something more.
It seized me when I thought that quitting while you are ahead was only for the quitters.
But the false pretenses fooled me into thinking there was always another stop to the next milestone.
There was always more to give in hope of that greater return.

But when I first left my safety zone, I was not aware that I was the destruction.
I was the dark cloud covering the sun, the fight against the better day.
The rock covering the shine of the crystal, the wreckage that washed and hid away the treasures.

And when I gave all I had, I lost my way, I lost my direction.
I lost the map that would always guide me towards the next milestone.
I lost all that I had saved, all I once preserved.
And with nothing left to give, there is just no merit.

As I crumble under the wreckage,
All I see is my initial investment.
An insignificance
A dead weight
A depreciating value to all that I once saw.

How I miss that beauty.
How I miss that hope.
How I miss believing that my guide had no end.
How I miss the treasures I would trade to keep going.
Just for one more stop. One more mile.

How I miss you.