She was not real when she first came to me


She was not real when she first came
There was not she
There was not her desire
I was too tired already when she came
She felt like dream
hidden behind haziness
her eyes intensely gazing at my physical state
and me utterly lost among my own ruins
she wrote she was searching for real
she said she couldnt find real on me
I do not understand if
I am real or not
may be there is no me, as well
I always made things on my mind
And If I am real I must have made her up
or just her desire
but she was real when she left
and she was there
going back deeper into the haze
haze that gave her birth
and haze that has left me with atonement
engulfed with terrible silence
still suffocating


she was terribly real
I was terribly lost in search of reality
I know not
where things went wrong
and we were never real together
and I sit here feeling bad
I have felt bad for too long now
feeling bad doesn't feel bad anymore
this bad is not real, may be