I feel it
  my hot red cheeks,
that lump in my throat
weight under my tongue
the heat of the tears filling my eyes.

I fear it
  that rush in my head
throbbing in my chest
the seizing of my lungs
    not breathing, falling, weak.

I fake it
  that smile on my face
the laughter and joy in my voice
the will to live on
pushing one foot in front of the other.