"only pain from love dear... it's only pain from love only pain from love"
i play the song on repeat the lyrics wash over me and the pain, so sharp, subsides for a minute
it's not my fault it's not your fault it's only pain from love "only pain from love, dear"
i've lost track of the times i said we'd break up the moments would always hit me out of nowhere and i instantly understood deja vu, or serendipity, or something bigger than me someone else who knew it was wrong.
i've lost track of the times we've fought i don't even know what they were about i just remember the broken pieces, the broken doors, the broken pots, soil strewn everywhere with bits of plants flying, my clothes flying, everything breaking around me. i always thought this home was temporary we swung through times of such chaos two poles at odds trying to be close but pushing each other away
you finally say that you love me that we could be the only two people in the world but... how? can we forget all the pain we went through, was the pain our own? did we hurt each other, did we make it worse? why can't we comfort one another do we make each other worse?
i was sure this would be the last fight it fell with a deafening finality our worst one yet, a hurricane which tore up everything we'd built our voices hoarse from so much screaming my eyes had never hurt so much from so much crying
afterwards i thought there'd be silence but the days go on, and each time i fall back into your arms. i was made to fit there it's where i belong is this it? can we stop fighting each other and fight for us together is this it? is this it?