Jun 2014
i have so many realizations during the day and sometimes im too lazy to write them all down but surely, my princess, they are all thoughts of you and your lips, your chest and your thighs, your whole system, baby. i really feel like i miss you and i think and think about everything and it always comes down to you and how our love died and yours faded but mine still has its game on. im sorry i cannot quit, my love. it has been over six months and i need six years more. maybe a decade or beyond. maybe i can never really move on and spend all my days without you and talking to God and tell Him everyday how i cannot feel His presence with me. i loved a girl once, and that, for me, has always been enough.
a bisexual person asked me "so do you still think about her? i mean, your love was sweet and all, it was different too, of course... she replaced you. she didn't do any effort, but that's my opinion. you told me how beautiful she is. but is she really? you told me how good she was to you and how much she loved you. you told me that she can't really replace you but she clearly did anyway. don't you think maybe you were blinded? i have never experienced true love so i have to ask you this... was loving her worth all this pain?" the words came right out of my mouth before i knew what i was saying: "it still is."
