you make me feel sick

maybe it's the sorrow,
maybe it's the jealousy,
maybe it's the way you sway,
or the way you look away,

but something about your everything drives me insane.

the way you used to look at me made my heart swell,
it made me want to dance,
and write poetry all day long.

the way you avoid my gaze now drives me insane.
it makes me feel worthless and like I'm letting you control me,
it makes me feel like I can't impress you,
like you're just a brick wall that's slightly cracked,
but I like the cracks.

I like how each of them form your smile,
or your stress lines.
how they emphasize your chestnut eyes, and bleached tips.

but that smile doesn't work for me anymore.
that smile isn't directed towards me either,
and I don't think it ever will be again.