I saw a plastic bag on the ground today and I stepped on it without thought. I huffed and puffed my way down the street in the heat, with my feet throbbing and my arms growing weaker and weaker. I saw myself in the reflection of a coffee shop, faded and grey. My hair fell perfectly at my collarbones and still, I noticed only the shape of my face and the size of my nose. I pressed the elevator button and waited. I closed my eyes and stepped in. The kitchen was empty and when I put my keys down on the table. I swear it sounded like a thunderstorm. I am alone. I danced in my room to a song I hated, but knew all the words to. I felt drunk, and it wasn’t until afterwards that I felt stupid.

The next day I did it all again, except on this day, I felt forsaken. I slumped into bed, and my mind slipped down treacherous slopes. I listened to the rain and heard it falling. I heard my thoughts falling too. All I wanted was you.