my body is numb and my heart is sinking at the thought of...well...in 48 hours I will see you for the last time in a long time

my blood is rushing as I contemplate on whether to confess or just pretend that...well...what I've been feeling for the past 9 months without you never existed

and when I put myself in your shoes I know you'd tell me the truth about everything, but then I remember...well... I was never as brave as you in the first place

my mouth would freeze just at the sight of your eyes, sweets, because when I look in your eyes...well...there lies all our memories

"good night sweets
sweet dreams
dream big"
is what you said to me every night and it's only after almost a whole year without you I'm starting to realize...well...you didn't say it just to say it

and maybe I should've appreciated it before it disappeared just like everything and everyone else

oh sweets, come back and tell me things will be okay real soon.

*a