Sometimes I sit and wonder what people say about me when I'm not there.
Am I the bad friend?
Am I the one that everyone regrets meeting?
The way that you avoid me makes me think that I am.

What did I do wrong?
I'm there when people need me, but that's just the thing;
I'm only there when people need me.
I make Mr. Cellophane look like the elephant in the room.

See, I just don't get it.
I know that this sounds selfish, but when will somebody finally start to care about me?
When will the time come that I don't have to message first and then not even get a reply?
God, not even my "best friends" talk to me on  daily basis.
Or even a weekly basis.

I'm like a public water fountain.
People are glad when they see me, but it's not like I'm their first choice
They were probably too broke to afford a better choice.
I am a placeholder.
I am temporary.
I will never make the final cut, but do you remember when you said that you would always have time for me?
Well you and I must have different definitions of the word "always" because time is up and wow, it went so fast.

So the next time that you complain about having no friends, I want you to remember how I was there.
Me, the nonexistent friend; I was always there to pick you up when you needed it and even when you didn't.

I want you to remember every 2 AM conversation,
Every fear that you told me,
Every deep, dark, secret desire,
Every ******* lie that you uttered.
I want you to remember how you pushed me away; how I came back the first couple of times it happened, but this time I won't.

I won't be your ego boost and I refuse to satisfy your sadistic need for attention because I am not the bad friend.
I have never been and never will be.
And maybe I'm thinking too much or maybe I'm not.
Maybe this is all true or not
And maybe one day I'll have the courage to tell you this to your face.

But sometimes I sit and wonder what you say about me when I'm not there.
Am I the good friend?
*Am I  the one that you regret meeting?