we're almost home I can taste it the fumes and the fire and the rags soaked with gasoline and I can hear the streetlight hum burning the ghost of a last cigarette and I can hear the coffee plink plop in your coffeepot a far-off howl and a mother lost her son with the needle and thread and the system is gone and I solve my problems like a monster would with matches but these scissors feel heavy and I dissected my brain found what left of my sanity and I ate it with a scowl burning bright into the day and the philosophies of ages past wise men and a single lunatic breaking me softly crashing animals into my head and I bit at the fist and frothed at the mouth the other day and it croaked at me scorching my brain eating at my health I fear I am losing my mind, lover I cannot remember the last time I cried or that I ate all I feel is a mechanical clickclack like I am clockwork and I don't know how to feed this need inside me I hurt my head today a soft noise No matter I smell oranges as I lose myself in my work and I stitch up the seams the acrid taste of a cigarette on my teeth a layer of smoke and wind and this mask smells like I imagine she would and that ends it and I couldn't move on paralyzed with a shrug and my mouth tastes of kerosene my mouth tastes of kerosene my mouth tastes of kerosene the blood in my house surrounding the bricks in my mouth breaking through the store and I ache and my stomach is sick and my mouth oh, god what have I done I ate her sanity and I broke his back with the symbol of red my only regret you must think I'm mad but no! I am better than that a ghost long gone leaving only kerosene in my wake rock the back with the squeal of tires I must escape Thunk! of a heart dying beneath my floorboards drying slowly like a bubbly sea amid a soft drink there is a cafe down the street and I think may order some coffee two scoops of sugar two tablespoons of milk why is my coffee red why is my coffee red why is my coffee red? why is my coffee red what i have done cannot be forgiven, lover wash it off in the sink my god they see me they see me **** they see me I regret nothing everything I am nothing I had a friend over today to show how normal I am that i am okay and I am alive and we spoke we drank wine, we ate a fine meal It was a party and soon i came to realize they knew! He knew! He saw the blood and I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed my hand and why are they still ****** and he found out he mocked me sat there in a chair and pretended it was all normal until I ached and burned and soon oh, god what have I done now his sanity it's gone i ate it He is sad now I see him and he is sad I taste his tears they taste of salt and crackers and I knelt and I sat down and finished my meal would a lunatic do that? Would he finish his dinner with his guest? No, lover. No, lover. The voices returned today. They told me I was worthless perhaps they are right and perhaps there is a bridge not far from here. Could the water wash away the blood? yes. Yes, lover, it could.
This is early work. Can't judge me for such early work, now can you?