I have went some months without pain
I would say a few
and then
out of the blue
I received a message from you
when I realized what I was reading
and who it was from
my stomach turned
my first thought was to ignore you
but what if you just showed up at my house
with such an obscure object you found of mine
what could I do?
after the past months, the solidarity I went through
what should I do!?
behave as if I am mature enough for this, no one is
but if you just showed up at my house while I am there
...what would I do?
that's a question I wrestle with
on a daily basis
I am too injured to be chasing
anyone, anything
you do not chase love
it lies at your feet
therefore, what we possessed was pointless
though you randomly appeared on my door step
the moment you seen my tears, you washed right through
the cracks between the boards of my deck
as I sat and listened to music that made me think about it
you know, the smiles
the piles of leaves
you would jump into with me
and we felt we brought our own hearts to their knees
laying there with our laughter and the feeling it brings
we would end up in my bedroom
with album covers strewn across the room
I would put the needle to Wild Heart
and make the sweetest of love to you

when I look back
on our perfect ten month stint
you were an absolute angel
and I gave my best performance yet
I hate the way it all ended
I almost wish one of us had died
if only to save our love from being tainted

I gave you the sacred parts of me
and you walked away
even had the nerve to
sit on the edge of my bed
look me in the eyes and sing every word to
the phil collins song "take a look at me now"
minutes before the last time you walked out of my house and did not notice the irony
and if you showed up at my house
with that obscure object of mine, today
I would probably tell you
to do what you do usually do
refuse to fight for what you love
and only focus on the men of yesterday
then I would tell you to
show me your trade mark move
the one where you just walk
away....