There is this separation, this... Duality. There is the girl I live inside, who loves you. Who...craves you, like air, like... A beating heart. She would walk through hell for you. She would gaze at you forever. But then sometimes... Sometimes I can rise above that for a moment, and see you as you are. As "only"- only a girl, only a person. Those moments confuse me, make me sad. I don't want them, but I do. If you'll be distant, if you'll leave me behind and...change, become ordinary, grow up and leave your passion behind for something more stable... Then maybe I need that distance, that rising up. That forgetting. But you are the sun and the stars, to me. You are half of my heart. And being away from that, being beyond it, it feels like mourning, like a funeral. That feeling unnerves me, as if it is a tide rising that I can't stop, as if someday you won't matter. That is part of why you matter so much. The closer I get to the day you decide to become ordinary, to the day when a stranger swallows the girl whose face I've traced with my fingers in awe, the more desperately I love you, the parts of you that shine, that are slowly being hidden because you've something more important to be doing. It's a complex fear, like a secret. Like a key you've buried in the garden and every time you walk by, the ground pulls at you, and nobody else even knows. It fogs up my mind, breath on the glass between me and you, and I stop making sense. But... I can SEE you. I can see you forgetting me. And I can't tell if it is my fear drenched mind throwing shadows by candlelight, or if I am losing the only person I ever gave my whole heart to. Not in a sudden, violent way, but in an insidious, eroding way. I want to beg you to tell me it will be okay. That I'm being silly. That you will try as I will try not to drift away. But by now, I'm not even sure I'd be able to believe you if you did.