I feel the cold
Kissing my hate stained flesh
It burns
The pure snow is falling from the sky
Landing on my skin

I wish that touching something pure
Could cleanse me
But it cannot
I'm left filthy
Sordid with human sin

I look to want I want
Thinking it's up so high
But I'm so down low

I can't reach
I can't reach

Could I ever get it
Can I make myself worthy
Can I wash away the weight
Or is it the weight that drives me
To be better than I was

Maybe I'm cleaner than I think
And what I seek
Is simply unrequited
Perhaps that would be so much worse
Because if I'm covered in filth I can wash
But I can't force love on anyone
Not even someone I spend my life with
If they don't wish for me then they won't

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do

Can I simply have
This one thing
It's so beautiful
I just want to make it mine

Is it possible
For my desire
To know what I want
And for it to hide from me

I hope and I pray
That it doesn't make me pay
Make me pain for love unrequited
I don't know if I could take the pain

I need a handful of pills
Pills to pop to take away the pain
I down them with a drink

I feel dizzy
My vision goes blurry

I'm falling
I hit the ground
All I see is black

There are people now standing in the rain
But not just rain
Their tears
Are drowning them

They fall to their knees
Lamenting
Staring at a hole
Six feet deep
And two feet wide

I purged my soul from my body
Bringing burden with the love
Felt for me in life
And grief for the loss
Of my soul so soon

I see the pain
Passing from person to person

The dissemination of depression due to
Decimating my right of decision
To dismiss my gift to be alive
I'm Dead

I see them from the sky
Their sorrow seeping from them
Sweeping away the land

I abhor the fact the that
I can not repent the choice I rue
But there can be no retribution
For what I've done

I'm long since past
Dead to the world
But not to the eternals
They don't know where to place me
Evil balanced
With good deeds done in life

Placed in Purgatory
Stuck in Limbo
Lingering
Between Hell and Heaven

I wander here
Wondering
Did I sacrifice my soul to sin
In my not so long life

I never bathed in Grace and Glory
The clouds covered the luminance
Perpetual dark
Always dying to fill my searching eyes
With some magnificent light
Of Glory from God

But only ever falling on flames
Oh so far below
Oh so far

I heard someone
Begging and pleading
Half collapsed to the floor
Telling me that there is always a chance
To rectify the wrongs
To reform to the right

I answered
With
How could I ever do such a thing
And get away with it
I stole my life away
From everyone I held dear

I made them question
Everything they did
Everything they said
All to the point
Of contemplating repeating
My own mistake

I walk down a path
Leading to a tunnel
But there's not just a light
It's split down the middle
One side is blinding light
The other a darkness so thick

I made it to the end
Where in lies a podium
Maned by not so much a man
But one man's skeleton
Robed in black with a boat behind

He look to me and said
There's been a discussion
And my sorrow is boundless
But my pity is none
I'll be the captain for your boat
Not the escort up your stairs

I look to him and said
I felt the burden of ******
It shook the earth to the core
I knew where I was headed
But I felt so much better than that Hell up there

He told me that I was not the first to see
The world in such a dim light
But also that I wouldn't be the last
Because hate and sorrow burden the soul
So much weight pulls one into hell

He stretched out his arm towards a boat
Gesturing for me to climb aboard
I stepped over the side and took my seat
I prepared for the worst imaginable things
But what I saw so far outweighed
Even what my own twisted imagination
Could conjure from it's depths

People tied to cliffs with crows pecking at them
And eating their entrails
The Gluttons of life
Now could not eat any food unless rebuked by their stomachs
The adulators of life
Either having their implements of sin destroyed or sealed
The ones that implemented avarice
Now have sealed closed fists

I looked back to limbo
And saw that ethereal form named Virgil
I cried out to gain his attention
He looked to me and said
I already guided one through this Hell
I cannot lead another

I turned back to face the winding path
I saw so many cliffs leading further down into Hell
Nine circles in all
And three seemingly lead dominate circles within the final one

I asked where I was to go
I was told
That suicide woods
Was the second circle of
The seventh circle

After I heard I was going down that far
I looked around the boat
I found the simple black ominous scythe
That death had brought with him
I brought the blade to my neck
And I ripped up as hard as I could