Triumphant am I when I see you stumble Impishly witnessing your short fall from grace My ego is puffed up with your simple proof of humanity Your hands flailing as your feet benignly betray you Gathering my own importance close, I feed on your shame
I take frantic pleasure in your failure My lungs inflated with harnessed laughter at your plight I move closer-taking all of this in...my skin humming My mind keenly focused on your suffering I have no expendable sympathy for you
I register your cries-they dust my ears with echos I won't offer you the help you so desperately need Giddiness-crawling up; determined, hot in my throat Tasting bitterly...suspiciously like the bile of my own flaws Straining to recapture my ignorant bliss, my eyes root for you
Recognizing my self-reflection, I swat it away with a fervor Swallowing, I clamp it there locked in place-I begin to choke Questions of my own imperfections threaten to suffocate me Who am I to relish in your demise, when I carry this stained heart My hands tainted, anointed by the trembling of my secrets
With a wretched mind, denial forlornly guides my tongue Flushing out the haphazard judgements I cast on you As I stand here stricken by my will to desparage your choices Am I not solely responsible for the poisonous kiss of my words
My shame mounts, my dignity absent in the wake of this purge Standing exposed my arms in disconnect, legs lead and water And then euphorically the words become less insistent, quieter Slowly my throat releases, my gasping breaths regulate themselves Realization settles in heavy but clear
Could it be when I am judging you, I'm truly critical of me And if so, I am forced to wonder almost reverently... Were you ever really here at all?