I am in constant need of supervision. Self destructive tendencies and little, if any, self control are a concoction that can ****. I think this is why I believed in God for so long. I needed someone to watch me. Somedays I needed that injection on guilt at the base of my spine. Feeling the guilt spread over me was my classical conditioning. I remembered how guilt feels like sludge moving slowly through my tiny veins and I adjust. I stopped believing in God, but the guilt stayed. Beliefs are easily discarded where conditioning is, well, it's still here.