My heart beat begins to quicken
The unbearably loud thuds
Seem to be surrounding me
As the darkness inside me
Grabs ahold of my heart
Pulling me farther back inside
To a place that after all these years
Has become a sort of safe haven
My own world filled with false happiness
Where my only sense of direction
Comes from lies I feed myself
When no one else could see through the mask
I had not only perfected but mastered
I pray that I am not too far gone
That the girl I’ve caged inside me is still alive
That I have not yet suffocated her beyond resurrection
But does god listen to the prayers
Of the ones that defy him without a second thought
The ones that can’t fully grasp his will
Enough to give themselves with no question
I yearn for the feeling of being whole
That they claim he will bring