Jun 2014
When I say my eyes are sensitive, I don’t mean that I can’t stare into the sun too long or that I squint when I look at my phone in the middle of the night. I mean when I look at you, I see the crooked lines in your beautiful face. I see the curve in your nose, the creases you achieved from laughing too hard. I see how your hair drops a fraction and how you glide the pieces behind your ear. I see how your teeth lightly press into your bottom lip when your face is frozen. I see how certain sounds make your head tilt and how it takes you exactly 4 long chews to finish what’s in your mouth. I see your crooked fingers and how they hold on tightly to your phone and keys when you walk to the car and how your eyelashes are always longer on Tuesdays.
When I say my ears are sensitive I don’t mean that I can’t be around fireworks or that when my dads t.v is too loud I get a headache. I mean the sigh you make after each sentence scares the living hell out of me, and how you always clear your throat twice when you’re about to talk about something important. And how I hear your accent when you say nothing and your laugh when the night is quiet. I hear your teeth clench together as you speak words of anger and your tongue push against the inside of your cheek when you’re being playful. I hear you tell me you’re walking away and that you’ll be coming right back and even when I think you’re silenced you come off mute.
When I say I lost you, I don’t mean I lost you once and that I have dealt with it. I lose you every time I hear a song, or watch a movie. I lose you when I close my eyes and wake up without you. I lose you when I see a couple and when I drop my shopping bags onto the tiles after a long day. I lose you and I lose you and I lose you and even though you’re lost I keep hoping you’ll turn up.
But people aren’t keys or your favorite sweater. They don’t just turn up after days and weeks of looking. They find a path and follow it through and I keep hoping if I follow the path we’ll meet each other and it’ll be like it was. But I know you have sensitive eyes and wear glasses and that your hearing is fine.
When I say my ears are sensitive I don’t mean that I can’t be around fireworks or that when my dads t.v is too loud I get a headache. I mean the sigh you make after each sentence scares the living hell out of me, and how you always clear your throat twice when you’re about to talk about something important. And how I hear your accent when you say nothing and your laugh when the night is quiet. I hear your teeth clench together as you speak words of anger and your tongue push against the inside of your cheek when you’re being playful. I hear you tell me you’re walking away and that you’ll be coming right back and even when I think you’re silenced you come off mute.
When I say I lost you, I don’t mean I lost you once and that I have dealt with it. I lose you every time I hear a song, or watch a movie. I lose you when I close my eyes and wake up without you. I lose you when I see a couple and when I drop my shopping bags onto the tiles after a long day. I lose you and I lose you and I lose you and even though you’re lost I keep hoping you’ll turn up.
But people aren’t keys or your favorite sweater. They don’t just turn up after days and weeks of looking. They find a path and follow it through and I keep hoping if I follow the path we’ll meet each other and it’ll be like it was. But I know you have sensitive eyes and wear glasses and that your hearing is fine.
